– By Craig Mazer

I grew up getting presents and, until years later, never really thought much about how fucked up it is that gift expectations are instilled at such an early age. At some point I made a switch, a connection.

Now don’t get me wrong. I love the feeling of giving someone something that they really appreciate; there’s an amazing excitement that I find when you know someone is surprised and thrilled by something you did.

But how can that joy come from events based on and damn near requiring the giving (and expectation) of gifts?! I say, it can’t.

 – Image by Adbusters –

Sure, people will still love getting stuff and some people will still love giving (because there are some people that get excessive joy out of giving stuff to their loved ones, e.g., my mom). But for a large majority — and I’m making an assumption as  I don’t care to research whether this is, in fact, true or just a self-confident leap – shopping for gifts when “told” to (i.e. birthday, Mother’s Day, Christmas, Hanukkah, baby shower, engagement, wedding, anniversary, birth, Father’s Day, Grandparent’s Day, graduation, etc.) ends up being a real pain in the ass.

(Note: There are some events where maybe a gift is in order, such as graduation, a true accomplishment, but not just for saying “yes” to a question you weren’t expecting or didn’t really want to answer but did, and now relishing in the excitement of having registered at four different kitchenware stores. And not for birthdays.)

Maybe I’m just resentful, as a non-gift-giver and, mostly a non-receiver of gifts (my parents are unrelenting), but I find frustration in the expectation of receiving gifts, especially when the expectant receiver has provided a checklist of potential gifts for the resentful giver to choose from. Okay, maybe that’s too harsh. Maybe not.

My niece recently celebrated her first birthday and she was enveloped in a mudslide of colored plastic toys and clothes of all types with nary a clue what was happening. Sure, there was the “I’ll chew on this” and “I’ll give ‘em a smile for that” responses, but for the most part I could have dangled my keys in front of her and gotten the same result. I’m sure many of the givers were totally excited to see little Zoe’s reaction to the avalanche of made-in-China items, but it just seems like it’s a bad precedent to set with an impressionable child.

I was listening to NPR the other day and a famous chef now working in Orlando was talking about how his wife always makes sure to have an extra gift around the house during the Christmas season just in case someone shows up unexpectedly. Man, that got me steamed. It’s really the impetus for this column, though consumerism has always been something I’ve had strong feelings about.

So what’s my point? During these tough economic times, more than ever, I’ve been aware of the desperation for producers to sell and consumers to consume. It seems to me that if people learned to live with less and, instead, push concepts that foster the idea of giving to “those who need” and not just because, this country, at least, would be turning an evolutionary corner. Maybe it’s not the “get out and spend” attitude our most recent administration has pushed, but it seems to make a lot more sense – and it’ll help you save dollars, too.