As for what was real and what was fake, all I know is that if my nose ended up that close to the hole of someone else’s ass I’d play it off and like it was staged too.

Let me recap an era for you real quick… We’re nearing the end of Master P and the run by No Limit as the most incredible hustlers and piss-poor rappers ever in hip hop, and now the Ruff Ryders are on top of the world off the strength of two DMX albums in one year. Canibus is, without a doubt, the most feared emcee on the planet. Big Pun’s first album has just dropped and the most anticipated album on every hip-hop head’s mind is Nas’ follow-up to It Was Written. Dr. Dre is on nobody‘s radar (The Firm, anyone?)

So I’m headed to my best friends house who I know is gonna put me up on game! I’m dying to hear this Punisher record he just bought, and I had just picked up both of the new albums from Redman and Method Man. I get there and there it is, this Eminem guy’s record. He’s going to set us all back another 10 years, so I think. Fuck it, spin it. Then it comes… “I’ll diss your magazine and still won’t get a weak review.” Okay, okay… “I’m tired of wearing the same damn Nike air hat.“ Me too, dogg… ”Hit the tree’s harder then Sonny Bono.” Hell naw, nice line… “You couldn’t sell two copies if you pressed a double album.” Well, fuck me sideways. This shit is dope! The rest is history.

So here we sit, a handful of days before the first Eminem album in four years and I just finished spinning the bootleg. I have to tell you, I didn’t stay a big fan of Eminem over the years. The Marshall Mathers album is probably a top-ten rap album of all time, but I haven’t been big on much since. Especially the post-50 Cent, thugged-out Em. I was content with him staying away. I was just learning to like his catalog again, especially the freestyles and guest appearances in between his first two records. Then the “3 A.M.” video drops and I’m like “okay, that shit is real slick.” The imagery took me back to his verse on the posthumous Biggie album Born Again, a sick-ass verse. Something real cinematic. Unfortunately that’s the high point of this album.

Now who knows how much of the real album I got here? I heard there were a couple Premo beats missing as well as a collabo with Jay-Z, but even if those rumors are true (and superb) they can’t help save it.

The subject matter is as repetitive throughout the album as its production. Nothing has changed in Marshall‘s world, or Dre’s for that matter. Early in the album we get “My Mom”, yet another jab at his mother. Why he wasted a beat this nice on another song about his mom is beyond me. And believe it or not, the nasty horns here are the high point of the production on the album. Maybe it’s just me, but I hate these repetitive-ass snare drum driven beats Em feels obligated to rap over. I know they made a lot of money with this formula in the past but its just that, the past. The rest of hip-hop has caught up with the sonic quality of Dr. Dre’s beats (or whoever’s doing their best impression of him.) Things get real horrible throughout the next few tracks, none of which I made it all the way through without hitting the skip button. “Insane” is a trash song that starts out about Em being molested by his stepdad, true? Not true? I don’t care either way. I can’t let that bang out my windows, dude. “Bagpipes from Baghdad” is a horribly irritating beat and I didn’t make it past the initial rambling about Mariah Carey before it got the same skip treatment. Seriously, you’re still on that shit about her?

Somewhere in the meat of the album we get a trio of what I’ll just call “rape rap.” “Same Song & Dance”, “Medicine Ball” and “Stay Wide Awake” are all just that, Em rapping about raping someone or some thing. All the word play in the world can’t make up for the retarded subject matter here. Now I’m no censorship douche, I can laugh about some sick shit, but there’s just no entertainment value in hearing his fantasies (again) of kidnapping and rape. You guessed it. Skip. Skip. Skip.

Next we have the songs you’ve heard already but don’t even know it yet. “Hello” is a lame version of “My name is” or “I’m Back”, take your pick. Then skip. ”We Made You” is another radio-darling Eminem song that will forever get play at white people’s wedding receptions. It’s also one that by now you should already be sick of. Skip. “Old Time’s Sake” featuring Dr.Dre on the mic and the boards just sounds old. Skip.

“Must Be The Ganja” and “Crack A Bottle” are both decent tracks with catchy hooks, if you’re not already tired of the latter. “Ganja” might be the only track with repeat value on the album, even it feels odd coming from someone who wrote this album supposedly sober for the first time in his career. Still, it sounds nice in the whip.

There is some lyrical treats at the end though. “Underground” is the nicest track on the album and the only remnant of the flow that made Em the most feared battle rapper hip-hop wax has ever met. On “Dejja vu” Em tells the story of his addictions and vices which ultimately led to his overdose and hospitilazation last year. Pretty dope lyrics here but if the beat is the final album version its straight garbage. And finally, on ”Beautiful” Em confirms he had the same doubts about his comeback as we did. A lot of diehard fans will call this song brilliant. It’s a good song, I have no problem with it, it’s just if I want emo-rap, Eminem is the last place I look.

Remember the South Park episode where Steven Spielberg and George Lucas were caught savaging Indiana Jones and a Storm Trooper? It’s hard not to envision the entire music industry lined down 8 Mile Road giving Marshall the same treatment when you hear this album. With the entire failing music industry on his shoulders with this release, maybe Em was trying to tell us something with all that “rape rap.” I always thought his monumental success held him back musically. I mean, how dope would it have been to hear Mr. Mather’s larger-than-life flow over some Madlib production? Some J-Zone? Or trading bars with Doom? Unfortunately we’re force-fed the same old song and dance.

Thankfully though, some of our favorite artists are still creating them. And they’re doing so with a message attached more times than not. Whether the music video goes hand-in-hand with the song itself, or brings a new perspective to the viewer, the cinematic quality of videos old and new should be celebrated for the masterpieces they are. And you best believe we’ll be celebrating our favorites, from all genres, from here on out…

• Eminem – “3 A.M.” – Maybe its the initial shock of it, but this is mad impressive. I was absolutely uniterested in Eminem’s comeback album and after hearing this song previously I was like “eh..” But this video is dope as fuck. The imagery is so incredible that I just had to keep playing it over and over after I first saw it. – Dank Lucas

• Ice Cube – “Gangsta Rap Made Me Do It” – Seeing the kids being brainwashed (and the distributing of blame) in the classroom is not very different from the way we grew up ourselves. The history books, the churches, the ideals our parents passed down as the “right way” to live our lives, should all be subject to questioning should some confusion arise. Cube’s lyrics and the familiar images in this video are powerful. – J.C.

• El-P – “Deep Space 9mm” – I never enjoyed NYC as much as I do when it’s portrayed in rap videos. Whether it’s the neighborhood of angry looking ruff-ryders popping wheelies on ATV’s, or the less than glamorous everyday feel of this video… this is as independent as the music itself.  So low-budget you say to yourself “I could’ve done better,” but guess what? You aren’t creative or cool enough, so you didn’t. – TimS

• Madvillain – “All Caps” – Hip Hop and Comic books. Need I say more? – TimS

• KRS-One and Marley Marl – “Hip Hop Lives” – Back when Nas declared “Hip Hop Is Dead” there were too many people that misunderstood what he was trying to say, which was that the Johnny-come-lately-on-the-radio garbage won’t stand the test of time. Since then former adversaries KRS-One and Marly Marl joined forces a few years back to create a criminally overlooked album that spawned this old school video, to help remind the young heads what it means to last forever. – J.C.

• Nas – “Be a Nigger Too” – This is the reason i fell in love with hip hop… uncensored expression, fly shit, and the denouncement of hate. Plus we get the sick spoken piece at the beginning! Nasty Nas at his finest. Oh yeah, and Rik Cordero owns music videos right now like Lebron’s gonna own the Magic next round! (Sorry Hawks and Celtics fans.) – Dank Lucas

If you haven’t already seen this documentary on Big Daddy Kane via Okayplayer then today is your lucky day. Anthony Marshall follows the living legend over 17 minutes on video during BDK’s return to his Brooklyn neighborhood, where he provides some insights along the way as part of the Scion Easy 10 series.

Over the course of 10 minutes there are 34 old school hip-hop tracks mixed together by DJ McCoy using Serato Scratch Live. Among the offerings are songs from Boogie Down Productions, NWA, LL Cool J, Marley Marl, Eric B and Rakim, as well as many more from the early 1990′s.

Ever heard of Run-DMC (and Jam Master Jay)? I thought so. Respect your forefathers. Eminem did.

Run-DMC followed Grand Master Flash into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame a month ago when they were inducted at a ceremony in Cleveland, Ohio. Todd Williams at Rolling Out did a pretty damn good job of capturing their story.